Curiosity Killed the Cat
by Iloveplotbunnies
Summary: It hadn’t been the lack of banter between the two, or something majorly different between the two of them but it was just enough to make him wonder—what exactly was the relationship between the two? J/L
1. The Mystery

**Curiosity Killed the Cat**

**Summary:**It hadn't been the lack of banter between the two, or something majorly different between the two of them but it was just enough to make him wonder—what exactly was the relationship between the two? J/L

**Disclaimer:** I obviously still don't own _The Mentalist_!

**Spoilers: **Set somewhere before 2x08.

**Warnings: **Language, OOC (in some parts) and unedited.

**A/N: **

First off, yes—the plot bunnies attacked me _again_. I dunno how I pass through school, complete ten page papers, try and comprehend statistics and still am able to read and write fanfiction. I'm considering this to be a talent for me. Second off, this is for the Jello-Forever March Challenge: Standing on the Outside and lastly, I dunno how long this will be so we'll just see where this takes us, shall we?

Enjoy!

It all started on a warm afternoon in the middle of March, when Agent Wayne Rigsby of the Serious Crimes Unit noticed an odd occurrence between his boss Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon and consultant Patrick Jane. It hadn't been the lack of banter between the two, or something majorly different between the two of them but it was just enough to make him wonder—what exactly was the relationship between the two? Of course, he wouldn't have even noticed something was off if it weren't for the fact that Jane had given the same exact excuse to leave the office for an hour that Lisbon had given five minutes prior to his statement, though Rigsby knew that Lisbon wouldn't enjoy him poking his neck in to whatever she and Jane had going on but as the expression often went; curiosity killed the cat but, satisfaction brought it back.

"Don't you think that was a bit strange?" He questioned which prompted Cho to turn around slightly in his chair to face him and Grace to stare up at him from her desk area—at which Rigsby noticed that no one else was in the space with them and that he could say what he needed to say without an audience. "Jane's excuse." Cho shrugged.

"So"

"Don't you think it's strange that he and the boss gave the same exact excuse?"

"No."

"They've been doing this for the past week." Grace spoke up from her desk, causing both Cho and Rigsby to stare at her in rapt attention. "Jane left Monday with some excuse about finishing his taxes first, and boss left promising that she'd be back within the hour…"

"I wonder what they've been doing; it couldn't be anything illegal…" Cho turned back to Rigsby to stare at him and Rigsby shrugged. "Could it?" Grace shook her head, and Rigsby dropped the subject.

* * * * * *

Jane's voice in the corridor caught his attention, and looking around—he was pretty sure that he wasn't the only one who was distracted by whatever Jane had to say to whomever he was speaking with.

"—Lisbon!" His voice echoed in the empty corridor. "You need to have more fun!"

"With you?" Lisbon questioned. "Ha, no thank you."

"I promise the next time we do it, it'll be easier..." Rigsby, who had just taken a swig from his coffee mug, spit the drink out all over Cho, who just scowled in response.

"I didn't need a shower." Cho responded, and Rigsby apologized silently with a wave of the hand as his mind rolled over the fact that Jane and Lisbon were in some type of relationship together.

"—yes Jane, just what I needed—more reasons to never sleep at night." From the sounds of it, Grace couldn't restrain herself from trying to cover her choke with a slight cough. Rigsby brought his eyes down to stare at the file in front of him, which luckily hadn't been coffee stained in the accident and soon, Lisbon's soft footsteps could be heard heading toward her office while Jane headed toward the couch to catch up on some sleep—however instead of concentrating on Jane or Lisbon for that matter, Rigsby jumped up from his desk with his coffee mug to head toward the kitchenette area not expecting that when he would turn around from his silent vigil by the sink that Grace would be behind him with a surprised look on her face.

"I told you something was going on." Rigsby muttered, and Grace shook her head while biting her lip.

"I don't believe that."

"You heard…" He lowered his voice in chance that Lisbon or Jane heard him.

"I know what I heard." Grace explained, her eyes shooting glances toward Jane. "I doubt boss or Jane would be in a…"

"I bet they are." Rigsby concluded. "Why disappear an hour every day, and Jane lied about his taxes…"

"You don't know that…"

"Oh yes I do, Jane told me last month when we had that case about the IR…" Grace stared at him. "I bet they are."

"Bet they are what?" Lisbon's voice cut into the conversation, as she stood in front of the kitchenette area and both stared at their boss.

"Milking a cow."

"Reading a magazine." Lisbon stared at the both of them, eyebrow slightly raised at the fact that both of them had answered at the same exact time with a different answer.

"What we meant to say…" Rigsby began.

"Was that he bet they were milking a cow while reading a magazine…" Grace saved him, and he felt relieved but he knew Lisbon didn't believe the both of them as she shook her head, and just walked off muttering something about insanity and retirement.

"Thanks."

"I still disagree with you."

"How about we make a bet?" Rigsby challenged and Grace shook her head.

"I'm not betting on my co-workers dating habits."

"Why? You know you're going to lose?"

"No, it's wrong!"

"No it's not, the guy at payroll has a running bet on how long it'll be before the two start dating or tie the knot." Rigsby pointed out. "The guy at payroll…"

"…has job security." Grace argued, and Rigsby chuckled.

"Oh come on, no one will know." Rigsby responded, and Grace bit her lip again before reluctantly nodding.

"Fine." Rigsby just grinned in response.


	2. The Theft

**Curiosity Killed the Cat**

**Summary:** It hadn't been the lack of banter between the two, or something majorly different between the two of them but it was just enough to make him wonder—what exactly was the relationship between the two? J/L

**Disclaimer: **If I owned _The Mentalist_, I would probably have more to my name than a computer and a textbook.

**Spoilers: **Somewhere in S2, before 2x08

**Warnings: **Language, OOC, and Unedited.

**A/N:**

I kept debating where to cut this chapter off, but after a while I realized that a longer chapter would be wonderful especially with all the humor that happens between all the characters. I want to thank all the reviewers, readers and alerters for giving this story a try—If you're laughing, then I'm doing my job right! Enjoy the chapter!!!!

* * *

The terms of the bet were simple in Rigsby's opinion, as Grace held the blank side of the business card, now filled with her small neat writing between the both of them on the square coffee table outside one of the small coffee shops after a full day of work. Jane and Lisbon either had to admit that they were in a relationship (or had to kiss) for Grace to give him one date, but if they didn't kiss or admit to a relationship, he would have to eat healthy for one week. Either way, he couldn't lose because somewhere deep within himself he knew that Jane and Lisbon were dating.

"—and how do you expect to find this out?" Grace questioned, sipping her drink from the cup.

"Well…" He started, looking down at the patterned table. "I figured we'd follow them…" She gasped at him, and he brought his eyes to hers.

"I think we should just ask." It was Rigsby's turn to gasp.

"Are you kidding?" He questioned, as she shook her head. "I'm sorry, did I hear you right… you wanted to ask _our _boss about…"

"No, not Lisbon!" Grace interrupted.

"And we're not asking Jane either," Rigsby responded. "Bad idea, as soon as we asked him—he'd be asking us personal questions and I'm sorry, I can only take so many questions about a lack of sex life…" Grace stared at him, as he shook his head. "I mean…"

"I get it, asking is out of the question." Rigsby nodded. "That leaves…"

"Extortion." Rigsby stared up at amazement, as the guy from the mailroom passed by their table balancing a coffee cup and a cell phone on his ear.

"Extortion?"

"We are not forcing our boss to tell us if she's in a relationship with Jane." Grace chided. "I can just imagine how well that would go over."

"I didn't suggest it!" Rigsby replied back, cringing at Grace's glare. "The mailroom guy did!"

"He was on his phone, how does that count as a suggestion?"

"That leaves only once choice." Rigsby ignored her comment about him being on his cell phone. "We follow them, and here's the plan…"

The next day started out normal enough, Lisbon and Jane bickered (as usual) and once again, no crimes had been committed which made Rigsby wonder what all the murderers were doing at that very moment, were they taking a vacation perhaps? It wasn't until Lisbon stepped from her office to tell the unit that she would be back in an hour that Rigsby decided to stand and head toward the small kitchenette, at which Grace followed him (it was all part of his grandeur plan in which both of them would take Grace's jeep and follow whatever car Jane and Lisbon were driving to follow them to wherever they were heading to) but first, both had to slip out of the building without being noticed by Lisbon or Jane.

"Here's what…"

"Let's just walk outside." Grace cut in, and Rigsby shook his head.

"They'll be expecting that."

"They aren't expecting us to do anything, because we aren't watching them remember?" Grace responded. "It's not like we can't just pretend I lost a contact…."

"But you don't wear…"

"Exactly." Grace replied. "Come on." Rigsby followed Grace out of the building, until both stood out in the open before both darted over to Grace's vehicle where Rigsby could clearly make out the silhouette of Lisbon (who remained in Jane's deathtrap of a car in the passenger seat)

"Told you." Grace glared at him from behind her vehicle.

"She's just sitting in his car." Grace responded, and both watched as Jane slipped from the building to join Lisbon in his car—and both were extremely silent as Jane slipped into his car, and both gasped in exclamation as Jane's silhouetted hand lingered close to Lisbon's silhouetted face until Rigsby bumped back into Grace's vehicle which had the car alarm sounding in the parking lot. Both quickly ducked incase either Lisbon or Jane were curious to find out exactly why the alarm was going off, and Grace struggled to turn the alarm off on her jeep at which she finally did and both piled into the vehicle with Rigsby driving. "Enough adventure for one day."

"We're just getting started." Rigsby had plucked the keys from her hands and started the engine, while waiting for Jane and Lisbon to do the same.

* * * * * *

Rigsby was positive that he now knew almost where every parking lot in the Sacramento area was located, because for the past fifteen minutes since he had followed Jane and Lisbon from the CBI parking lot—they had stopped at almost every parking lot to do whatever the hell the both of them were doing.

"This is getting us nowhere." Grace stated, after what could be numbered the thirtieth parking lot of the day. "I say we return back before they catch us." Rigsby shook his head. "Did you think about what would happen if Lisbon calls Cho…?"

"I knew I was forgetting something." Rigsby muttered, as he maneuvered to turn the car around and head toward the CBI. "Well, I don't know what to think about all of that." His eyes were on the road.

"Jane knows where many parking lots are." Grace stated. "It makes me wonder what they were doing…" Rigsby took his eyes off the road for one second to turn his head and look at Grace in shock. Bad thoughts….bad thoughts… "I didn't mean it like that!" She sputtered, while a blush raced across her cheeks.

"Sorry!" Rigsby muttered, and both remained quiet for the rest of the small journey back to the CBI where once out of the vehicle and back inside the building Rigsby pulled Grace aside by one of the vending machines (where conveniently, no one was around). "Let's not talk about that…"

"Talk about what?" Grace responded, and Rigsby sighed in relief before seeing Cho (who was headed straight toward the elevators (probably in search of Rigsby and Grace) and Rigsby grabbed Cho's arm to get his attention.

"Where have you two be…?"

"We followed Jane and Lisbon." Rigsby explained, and Cho stared at the both of them.

"You didn't."

"We did."

"Good for you." Cho responded, but the sudden arrival of footsteps had Rigsby and Grace hiding behind the vending machine while Cho stared at the both of them with a cool ferocity.

"—do that more often." Lisbon's voice.

"Sheesh woman, next time you should be more patient." Jane could be heard throughout the empty corridor again. "I'm not as young or as quick as I used to be." Grace covered her mouth, as Rigsby's eyes widened.

"I don't know Jane," Lisbon suggested. "I think you did a pretty good jo…" Lisbon had stopped at seeing her entire unit "hiding" behind the vending machine. "What are you guys doing?"

"Following a complaint that the machine was eating money..." Rigsby threw in quickly, which caused Lisbon to raise her eyebrow.

"The state doesn't pay you to fix vending machines." Lisbon chided. "Nor does the state pay you all to stand around to 'fix' a vending machine together." Lisbon strolled away from the three as Jane stared at them all.

"You're lying." Jane called them on it. "I don't know why, but I'm going to figure it out." Jane grinned at all three of them.

"We're not lying." Grace responded, and Jane leaned close.

"Oh really?" Jane asked. "Then how come I saw a vehicle matching yours Grace following me today?"

"Her vehicle was stolen!" Grace silently groaned, as Jane stared at all three of them.

"Iowa plates right?" Jane stated. "Yeah, I'm going to go inform Lisbon of this right now…" Jane strolled off to tell Lisbon and Grace turned to Rigsby.

"What did you tell him my vehicle was stolen?" Grace stormed. "It's sitting right here in the parking lot."

"Not for long…" Rigsby muttered. "Can I have your keys?" Grace stared at him again before handing them over, as Cho stared at the both of them. "I'll be back."

**Twenty Minutes Later…**

"Lisbon."

Silence.

"Yes, Rigsby's one of mine…"

Silence.

"HE STOLE WHAT?"

Silence.

"Thank you officer…"

Lisbon strolled from her office to meet the curious faces of all three Cho, Jane and Grace as all three had heard Lisbon's screaming from her office.

"They found your vehicle, Van Pelt."

"Really boss?" Grace nervously responded, and Lisbon nodded anger stretched into her face.

"Rigsby stole it." Jane burst out laughing from his couch and Lisbon glared at him. "It's not funny, because now he's spending a night in jail." Jane beamed in Lisbon's direction.

"It could always be a thousand times worse Lisbon." Jane responded. "I mean, I could be in there…"

"Jane, it would be a miracle to actually _keep _you anywhere in public." Jane grinned. "Let alone behind bars"

"See?" Jane responded. "With me, you'd actually keep getting calls on my behavior, because I don't fear you…" Lisbon raised her eyebrow.

"You don't do you?" Lisbon questioned.

"Nope." Lisbon nodded.

"I'll keep that in mind the next time we're out on a case, and you disobey my orders." Lisbon told him. "It might help to strike some fear into your heart." Jane waved the comment away with his hand.

"Meh." Jane said, still on his couch. "All bark and no bite."

"We'll see Jane, we'll see." Lisbon replied, turning away from the consultant who still wore a grin on his face.


	3. The Usual Ways

**Curiosity Killed the Cat**

**Summary:** It hadn't been the lack of banter between the two, or something majorly different between the two of them but it was just enough to make him wonder—what exactly was the relationship between the two? J/L

**Disclaimer:** If I owned _The Mentalist_, well… we better not go there.

**Spoilers:** Somewhere in S2, before 2x08.

**Warnings:** Language, OOC, Silly Situations and Unedited.

**A/N: **

First off, thank you all so much for the reviews, the reads and the alerts, I absolutely love reading the reviews on this story—the reviews make my day!

Next, I'm auctioning off one of a fandom piece for Chile, and just in case anyone's interested, I've got one auction running:

http://community DOT livejournal DOT com/help_chile/2190 DOT html?thread=395662#t395662 (which is for three (3) one-thousand minimum one shots and one fanfic of 5,000 words minimum.) Replace the DOT's.

I'm not asking or begging for bids, I just want to get the word out about these auctions! I hope you'll all enjoy the chapter!!!!

* * *

After a restless night behind bars, where Rigsby's cellmate had given (what seemed) to be one long-winded stories on how he ended up in the cell, which involved something about a bearded lizard and public indecency; it was then, with his face pressed against the bars of the cell that he decided to change his tactics, obviously _just _following Jane in any vehicle was a bad idea—so with that, he began his next plan which would involve some drastic measures; he just hoped that Grace would go with it.

*** * * * * * **

"Enjoy your vacation?" Jane questioned, humor tinting his voice as he reclined on the couch to watch Rigsby walk-in the bull pen wearing the same outfit as yesterday. "Lisbon's not to happy with you at the moment," Rigsby glared in response as Jane laughed. "How did you manage to steal Grace's car?"

"You know," Rigsby muttered. "The usual ways."

"Oh, so you mean seducing and…"

"No!" Rigsby cried out, causing everyone in the area to turn and stare at the both of them. "And I found her car…"

"In the middle of nowhere?" Jane teased. "Admit it, you followed Lisbon and I…"

"Why would I follow the both of you around?" Rigsby questioned, trying to keep the alarmed expression off his face—the last thing Jane needed to do was say something to Lisbon.

"I don't know," Jane stated and Rigsby almost let the breath he was holding go until Jane continued on. "But, that's what I want to know." Rigsby shook his head, as Jane peered over Rigsby's shoulder. "If you hide now, Lisbon won't catch you…"

"Wait…wha…?"

_"Rigsby!" _Lisbon screeched. "My office, _now_!" Jane feigned sympathy with a small little shrug and a simple smile.

"I told you to hide." Rigsby and Lisbon retorted with a harsh glare at the consultant.

"Jane, stop obstructing…" Lisbon began.

"Just go on, and scream at him." Jane stated. "I won't stop you, after-all, you need to get all the screaming out so later on you'll be silent." Rigsby's eyes shot toward Jane in shock, and Lisbon stared Jane down with an "I'm going to kill you" glare. "Have fun!" Grace stepped in as the door to Lisbon's office shut behind the disgruntled Rigsby and the pissed off Lisbon. "Dead man walking, of course—I doubt Lisbon will seriously kill him." Jane chuckled in amusement as if it were some huge joke in the process.

"Not funny." Grace responded.

"Oh come on," Jane replied. "Man stole your vehicle."

"For the last time, he didn't steal it." Grace told him. "He found it." She had her arms crossed against her chest.

"You win this round, Grace." Jane stated. "However, I will find out whatever you and Rigsby are hiding."

"Who said we're hiding anything?"

"Who said you're not hiding anything at all?" Jane questioned, and the door to Lisbon's office opened revealing Rigsby.

"You didn't get suspended did you?" Grace asked, and he shook his head.

"Desk duty for a month." Rigsby responded. "And a threat that if I ever ended up in jail again, boss would make me babysit Jane."

_"What!" _Jane questioned, jumping up from the couch. "_Babysitting?_"

"You better listen to her." Grace ignored Jane, who at any moment could have started foaming from his mouth in astonishment. "Desk duty is much better than babysitting…"

"_LISBON!_" Jane cried, causing the woman in question to race from her office with her gun in her hand, as if she was protecting them all from a threat, Lisbon looked around to see that Jane was still foaming from the mouth in outrage as Rigsby and Grace looked on in shock.

"Damn it Jane!" Lisbon cursed. "I thought…."

"_I don't need to be babysat!_" Jane pouted and Lisbon narrowed her eyes.

"You called me out here to listen to you _complain_?" Lisbon hissed. "Jane, if you ever call me out here again without you literally bleeding all over this couch…"

"A little testy aren't we?" Jane questioned, dropping the pout about the babysitting idea. "Not getting enough…"

"Jane, I'm getting enough thanks to you." Rigsby and Grace held a laugh back behind a set of coughs, at which point Cho stepped into the bull pen.

"Cough drops are in the bottom drawer." Cho pointed out, removing himself to his desk. "No case yet boss?" Lisbon ignored the problem at hand to turn to Cho and shake her head.

"Not yet." Lisbon explained. "However," Lisbon stared down Jane. "If a certain _someone _doesn't stop his antics—I will make sure that the next case we have is one involving the certain someone." Lisbon turned back toward Cho.

"Oh, you mean Rigsby?" Jane answered, and Lisbon threw her hands in the air—both were completely wrapped up in their arguments that they missed Rigsby and Grace slipping off to conduct a conversation of their own outside the bull pen.

"I've come up with a new tactic." Rigsby whispered to her, and she stared at him as if he were crazy.

"You were just arrested…"

"This one is full proof!" Rigsby argued. "And if it's not, you can plan the next one." Grace bit her lip. "I spent all night thinking about it, and I've got the costume in my car and…."

"Costume?" She questioned. "Wait, what exactly are you planning to do?" He grinned in response.

"You'll see, but this time—we'll take my car."

*** * * * * ***

Rigsby waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Today was Jane's day to make an excuse, and while putting the plans into action was fun—listening to the consultant's excuses to leave first usually involved some type of distraction followed by his explanation for needing to leave, one thing was for certain, Jane was many things, but dull was not one of those things.

"I think that's a cat." Jane spoke, with his head out one of the SCU windows to stare down at the ground below before he pulled his head back into the room and turned his head toward Lisbon's office. "I think your cat has escaped, Lisbon!"

"I don't own a cat, Jane." Lisbon called from her office.

"Really?" Jane questioned. "I pegged you as a cat person…" Lisbon strolled from her office again.

"I can't get anything done with you around here." She sighed. "For the last time, I don't own a cat."

"Do you want one?" She raised her eyebrow.

"No."

"I'll get it for you!" Jane raced from the bull pen with Lisbon hot on his heels, as Rigsby motioned for Grace to get ready to commence his plan. Cho just stared on in amusement, before shaking his head at both Grace and Rigsby as they followed discreetly behind the bickering pair.

With no sounding of car alarms or anything else, Rigsby and Grace were able to follow Jane and Lisbon from the CBI to another round of parking lot hopping.

*** * * * * * **

It didn't take as long as yesterday to find the "perfect" spot for both Jane and Lisbon to stop in, and what made the whole plan to work out better for Rigsby was the small parking lot was off limits to everyone. He let his feet drag to Jane's car before pounding on the window, and Jane rolled down the window—however, Rigsby wasn't expecting Lisbon's hair to be messy, and with the dress shirt she wore—he wasn't expecting the top few buttons to be missing as if someone had ripped open her shirt, nor was he expecting Lisbon to be sitting on Jane's lap.

"Y-y-you folks realize it's illegal to be here don't you?" Rigsby stuttered, and Jane grinned at Rigsby, who was playing the role as an "officer". It was actually the only costume he found at the last second after coming out of the jail house that morning; it was either that or a carrot costume.

"I didn't know that, officer…." Jane peered at Rigsby's name on his costume. "Justin." Rigsby glanced back down at Lisbon, who sat still on Jane's lap. "If that's really your name." Rigsby cursed silently, of course Jane would know…

"What are you implying sir?"

"Is that your real mustache?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I doubt it." Jane stated, and Rigsby stared at him in confusion. "But, if you're compensating for something…" Rigsby ignored him. "Good day, officer." Jane rolled up his window, as Rigsby started back to his vehicle to greet Grace.

"What did you…?"

"Boss was sitting on his lap…" Rigsby muttered, and Grace's eyes widened.

"Are you sure?"

"Unless Jane's somehow managed to create a clone, I know what I saw." Rigsby slipped into the vehicle and buckled his seat to start the car. "I guess that means, I won the bet…"

"I wouldn't count on that just yet…" Grace was staring out of her car. "They didn't kiss, did they?"

"No but…"

"I wouldn't put it past Jane to know what we're doing." Van Pelt stated, as Rigsby started to drive off. "Jane likes to pull this kind of stuff…"

"I doubt the boss would sit in Jane's lap, even if she was paid unless both of them are dating." Rigsby argued, and both lapsed back into silence.

* * * * * *

Cho didn't get to ask what Rigsby had seen, because as soon as Rigsby and Grace had sat down at their desks—Lisbon and Jane stepped into the office.

"—if you ever do that again, I will shoot you." Lisbon threatened him, and Rigsby stared at the both of them. Jane's attention however was on Rigsby.

"Hey Rigsby." Jane greeted. "I didn't know you had a mustache…" Lisbon's attention was now on Rigsby, as Grace groaned silently from across the room. Of course, they had gotten rid of the costume but somehow both had managed to forget the mustache.

"Yeah, I borrowed this mustache from Bosco." Rigsby explained, Lisbon grimaced in response as Jane hid his laugh.

"I thought it looked familiar." Jane responded, going to his couch as Lisbon left to her office—and both Grace and Rigsby let out the breath they held. For now, they were safe. For now, Jane was going to leave them alone—but the mystery of their relationship wasn't solved yet.

"You did say it was my turn tomorrow, didn't you?" Rigsby nodded, as she smiled in response.


	4. His Birthday was Two Months Ago

**Curiosity Killed the Cat**

**Summary: **It hadn't been the lack of banter between the two, or something majorly different between the two of them but it was just enough to make him wonder—what exactly was the relationship between the two? J/L

**Disclaimer:** Please, if I owned _The Mentalist_… I'd probably add penguins to the show.

**Warnings: **Language, OOC-ness, and Unedited.

**A/N: **

I'm slowly getting around to updating everything, but I really wanted to get this chapter up this morning because I'm amazed that it keeps turning to be SO long. Oh well, what can I say besides enjoy?

Oh, I know what else I can say!!!! Thanks for all the reviews, reads and alerts for this story—you guys make my day!

* * *

Grace sat both boxes down on Rigsby's desk, as Rigsby stared up at her from his blank computer screen.

"I'm sorry I'm a bit late." Grace breathed. "I had a bit of a problem down at the bakery…"

"Bakery?" Grace grinned in his direction, before stealth fully looking around and seeing that Lisbon was occupying Jane in her office and Cho wasn't actually paying attention to either of them. "Did you bring me something…?" Rigsby made to open the lid to the bakery box as she slapped his hand away.

"This isn't for you, it's for Jane." Grace explained, as she lifted the lid on the bakery lid to let Rigsby see the cake.

"Oh, I'm glad it's for Jane then." Rigsby replied, as he snorted in laughter. "Because I'm pretty sure Jane'll love the greeting—but anyway, I doubt this cake is because…." Grace rolled her eyes.

"Today is Jane's birthday." Rigsby stared at her.

"Jane's birthday was…"

"Two months ago, I know." Grace replied. "However, today is Jane's birthday."

"No it's not." Cho responded from his spot at his desk. "It was two months ago." Grace sighed.

"That's not what the…" Grace glared at him.

"You promised."

"Yeah but…"

"You promised." She repeated again.

"You promised her?" Cho asked, peering up at Rigsby who nodded.

"Yesterday's attempt didn't go as well as we would…" Grace raised her eyebrow. "I mean, I'd hoped it would have." He shrugged.

"Jane's birthday is today and…"

"I didn't buy him a gift." Rigsby spoke up.

"I know." Grace responded, as she dug through the open box to pull out a rectangular envelope to thrust it into his hands.

"What…?"

"It's a card."

"Why would you…?"

"It's a _key _card."

"What…"

"You know, so he and…"

"_Oh_."

"Anyway, help me set up the decorations…" Grace explained, pulling miles upon miles of streamers out of the open box.

"I still don't see how this is going to help me win my bet."

"Who said you're going to win?" She asked, staring at him.

"Oh come on, it's obvious they're together." Rigsby explained. "It's not like I can lose, I mean yesterday she sat on his lap and…"

"You dressed as a cop, who _apparently _stole his mustache from Bosco." Unfortunately, neither of them noticed the menacing form behind them.

"You _stole_ what from me?" Grace and Rigsby slowly turned to come face-to-face with Bosco, who was more than likely coming to visit Lisbon in her office.

"Uh… your virtue?"

"Really?" He replied, dryly. "Do I want to know why the both of you have streamers everywhere?" Before Rigsby could help himself, he blurted it out.

"Jane's birthday!" Bosco stared at the both of them.

"You _actually_ expect me to believe that you both are throwing a party for Jane?" Bosco questioned.

"Yeah, pretty much." Rigsby responded back.

"We like to celebrate birthdays in this unit." Grace explained, staring directly at Bosco who was shaking his head. "Is there some rule against that?"

"No." Bosco explained.

"We don't have a case right now." Rigsby continued.

"Have a nice day, Agent Bosco." Grace snuffed him, spinning around to grab the streamers from her desk to loop them over everything while Rigsby just stared on, fidgeting as Bosco watched him before eventually trudging into Lisbon's office. "You know, it did look like his mustache…." Rigsby just glared at her back in response.

* * *

"I'm sure whatever they're doing…" Lisbon trailed off, as she, Bosco and Jane stepped from her office into the bull pen to see the place decorated in all different colored streamers. "I didn't…" Lisbon looked between both Bosco and Jane. "Jane, if this is another one of your stunts…"

"We're not even on a case!" Jane responded, waving his arms around at the craziness. "I only pull my so-called stunts on cases, not in the bull pen where you actually have reasonable cause to harm me—though I admit, I think we should keep it like this all the time—sort of like a festival…" Lisbon glared at Jane.

"Jane, we're not keeping this."

"Damn." He muttered while Lisbon still glared at him before switching her eyes onto her three team members who were all decorated in streamers.

"Do I want to know?"

"Well…" Rigsby began, before nervously glancing at Grace.

"—Happy birthday Jane!" Grace cried, pointing the consultant toward the birthday cake on Rigsby's desk.

"Oh, I'm touched." Jane responded, not opening the box. "Though, you're a little late…"

"Yeah, try two months." Lisbon gave, as everyone stared at Lisbon is shock. "What?"

"You know his birthday?" Bosco questioned, and Jane stared at Bosco with his eyes narrowed.

"Is that a problem for you?" Bosco narrowed his eyes, as Lisbon sighed and continued to ignore the both of them and their current testosterone problem.

"Of course I know his birthday!" Lisbon scoffed. "He likes to go around weeks before his birthday and wear a silly hat." It was Jane's turn to scoff.

"_Silly hat_?" Lisbon peered at him. "First it was the babysitting comment, and now this?" Bosco stared at the both of them, as everyone else just stared on in confusion. "Anyway, I'm going to eat my cake now—who wants some…Rigsby, I know I can count you in." Jane flipped open the box to see the cake. "Uh…" Bosco gave a great big chuckle at Jane's expression, as Lisbon covered her mouth to hide the chuckle.

"Van Pelt…" Lisbon said between chuckles. "When you went to the bakery to pick this up, what exactly did you tell them to put on the cake?"

"Happy Birthday Jane, of course…" Grace responded, as both dissolved into another fit of coughs and chuckles.

"I tried telling you." Rigsby replied, as Grace looked past Jane's shoulder to read the greeting on the cake which read: _"Congrats! It's a Girl!" _

"I didn't think that was possible…" Jane muttered. "I guess I had a second child and didn't know it or I just changed sexes." Everyone stared at him. "Now, let's eat…"

* * *

"Thanks for the…cake Grace." Jane responded. "Though, next year when we do this again—could you bring a piñata in…?" Lisbon glared at him. "Uh, never mind—Lisbon probably wouldn't enjoy that very much…" Jane grinned in her direction. "Where are my presents?" Lisbon held her hands up.

"Don't ask me." Lisbon responded. "I just found out you aged a year in two months, I really doubt I had time to shop for a gift." Jane's eyes rested on Bosco next, who only grimaced.

"Jane, I dislike you." Bosco explained. "Why would I give you anything?"

"Good point." Jane replied, as he moved his eyes toward Cho who presented him with a single paperclip from his desk drawer. "Oo! Just what I needed, I can break into Bosco's office now and…" Bosco cleared his throat, grimacing. "Leave Easter eggs come Easter time!" Jane innocently smiled.

"I _will _have you arrested again." Bosco scowled.

"And I _will _escape again." Jane answered, before turning to stare at Rigsby who handed him the envelope Grace had given him earlier. "Hmm, I'm going to guess—key card?"

"Happy Birthday." Both Grace and Rigsby responded, as Rigsby continued on. "It's a room for two, you know in case you want to…I don't know, have some lady friend over." Jane stared at him.

"Lady friend?" Jane questioned. "Who said anything about a…"

"Or a rabbit, or a cat…or a cactus…" Rigsby continued on. "You know what; you can even take Van Pelt…" Everyone turned to stare at Rigsby, who was hiding his face behind his hand. "I mean…"

"Oh, this is the _best _birthday gift ever." Jane exclaimed. "I think I'll take Grace with me tonight, and we'll get married…"

"It's against the rules!" Grace cut in, as Lisbon shook her head in Grace's direction. "It's not?"

"I don't technically work for Lisbon…"

"He doesn't." Lisbon gave. "He consults for us, however," Lisbon glared between Jane and Grace. "I don't want to see any PDA here in the office…" Grace blanched, her plan to get the two to talk about their love life wasn't going the way she had planned it. Jane was supposed to have taken _Lisbon_, not to want to take _her_ there instead. "And, I also don't want to hear anything about your sex lives…" Bosco sputtered. "I hope you'll both be extremely happy, now clean this up." Jane grinned.

"This is the best birthday ever!" He spoke, before looking at Grace. "Now, we're going to have tons of fun and…" Rigsby stared Jane down, before pressing his lips to Grace's mouth. "And I guess that means 'hell no.'" Rigsby gave Jane a small thumbs up, message received loud and clear. "Damn."


	5. He's Already Angry

**Curiosity Killed the Cat**

**Summary:** It hadn't been the lack of banter between the two, or something majorly different between the two of them but it was just enough to make him wonder—what exactly was the relationship between the two? J/L

**Disclaimer:** Magic 8-Ball, do I own the rights to _The Mentalist_? *shakes 8-Ball, and then reads answer* No.

**Warnings:** Language, OOC-ness, and Unedited.

**A/N: **

Thanks to all the reviewers, alerters and readers for this story! It's always such fun writing each chapter, and I'll be sad when this story is over…but, that just means I'll be moving on to my next humor story!

With that being said, the next chapter is the last one of this story—but I plan on having one more little surprise... mwhahaha. *this could be a very good thing, or this could be a very bad thing...* :) Anyway, enjoy the chapter!!!!

* * *

**Chapter Five: **

**He's Already Angry**

"I didn't know Jane had such an attachment to papier-mâché objects." Grace commented to Rigsby, both of them standing in their informal kitchenette spot while Jane bickered with Lisbon in the bull pen over the fact that he had brought a piñata to work that morning and tried to hang it up in her office with the excuse that she needed to decorate her office for any upcoming holidays or birthdays.

"Jane also enjoys being a sadist." Rigsby pointed out.

"I doubt he enjoys it." Grace responded.

"It's Jane."

"True." Grace shrugged. "You know, I think this is why we can't get into any of the fundraising events—between the high temper of our boss and Jane's actions, they're afraid to cross any of us."

"I think they do it on purpose." Rigsby replied. "You know she doesn't actually like fundraising events, and he's probably in on the fake anger…"

"_—I was just promoting office festivity!" _

_ "You can't bring a piñata into my office and…"_

_ "What if I hung it out my window?"_

_ "…it's not your window!" _

_ "Technicalities and I'm pretty sure everyone would love to see a piñata hanging out of our window!" _

_ "If you don't get rid of that thing, I'll make sure that you become the next office piñata and I'll take the first hit." _

Both Rigsby and Grace flinched, though Rigsby couldn't hide the chuckle at imaging Jane hanging from a string, and Lisbon hitting him with a stick.

"—anyway, I've got another plan." Grace explained, and Rigsby nodded. "I need you to distract both of them."

"How the hell am I supposed to do that?" Rigsby questioned, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm already in enough hot water for the vehicle theft."

"I've got it covered." Grace replied. "I just need you to go find Bosco…"

"Bosco?" She nodded.

"…and I need you to go tell him…" She leaned closer to him to whisper the exact words she wanted repeated. Rigsby pulled away after she was finished in complete and utter shock.

"You're kidding right?" Grace stared at him, her eyes narrowed slightly. "I guess not…"

"It's either that, or we kidnap one of them to tell us."

"Oh yeah, I could see that working out." Rigsby responded, lowering his voice. "Lisbon's got a gun, and I value my life."

"I didn't say we had to do that!"

"You thought it!"

"You were the one who took the thought to the next level…" Grace replied. "...and besides that, if we _just _ask them…"

"I hope you're kidding…" Rigsby interrupted.

"I have a feeling that Jane knows what we're doing, and he's making sure to flip every situation to look as if he and Lisbon _are _dating." Rigsby scoffed.

"He's not _that_ smart."

_"—your birthday is soon, are you sure you don't want a piñata?" _

_ "Jane, we've moved past that damn piñata." _

_ "Oh come on Lisbon, no one is too old for a piñata."_

_ "How does a piñata fit in with our conversation on…?"_

_ "And they're perfect for hiding things in, especially things I find from a certain Senior Agent's place…" _

_ "If you've put anything of mine in that piñata, I will arrest you."_

_ "Haven't we been over this?" _Jane questioned._ "If you arrest me, I'll just escape." _

"He's going to die a very painful death." Rigsby commented. "I'm no psychic but I have a feeling Lisbon's about to kill him."

"She just asked for the stick." Grace replied, and both of them looked down only to bring their heads back up at the sound of a painful cry—Lisbon had just hit Jane with the piñata stick. "Ouch."

"Yeah, I think I'm going to go find Bosco now." Rigsby told her. "I'd rather deal with that instead of sitting here and listening to the both of them do _that_, who knows what it'll turn into…" Rigsby stood from his seat to go find Bosco, while Grace stood and pulled the box out from under the sink—they only had one shot at this.

* * *

"Lisbon, I'm not going to do anything while standing here with you watching me." Jane told her, crossing his arms against his chest.

"Jane, every time I leave you alone for five minutes—you end up hypnotizing half of the office, and angering Bosco…"

"Meh, he's already angry." Jane replied. "I walk into the room, and he's angry; I step into your office, and he's angry with a bit of jealousy mixed in. I say either way, I'm going to make him angry." Lisbon sighed.

"One of these days, you are going to anger him to the point where he would rip this stick out of my hands," Lisbon spoke, waving the piñata stick in her hand. "And knock your head off your shoulders."

"If he does that, can I press charges?" Jane asked with a grin on his face as Lisbon rolled her eyes.

"If he does it, I will personally press charges." Lisbon stated.

"And you'll kiss it better?"

"Don't press your luck." Lisbon spoke, glaring.

"I'm not," Jane replied. "I'm just…" a loud commotion in the corridor caused Jane's words to drop from his lips to hear who was screaming at the top of their lungs.

_"—GET MY HANDS ON HIM; I'LL MAKE SURE HE REGRETS MESSING WITH…!_" Bosco's voice rang throughout the corridor.

"Someone's angry." Jane commented. "Do you think he needs a hug?" Lisbon just stared at him.

"_JANE!_" Bosco roared from the corridor, and Lisbon turned to stare at Jane.

"What did you do _now_?"

"Nothing!" Jane responded, looking up at the ceiling. "Well, I _did _place his car on the roof…"

_"YOU WHAT?"_ She hissed, and Jane backed up—hands in front of him, protecting himself.

"Now Lisbon, you know that it's a perfectly nice day outside and…" A cackle of thunder rang throughout the room. "It's not raining is it?" Jane turned his head slightly to look at Cho, who peered out of the window to see that indeed it was raining.

"It is." Cho responded, standing up to come over by Jane and Lisbon. The grin on Jane's face quickly disappeared.

"Uh… Lisbon, please forgive me for this." Jane sped from the room, trying to escape the wraith of Bosco, who was going to be even angrier after he found that his convertible top had been left _down_.

"Jane!" Lisbon shouted after him.

"I don't want to become a piñata…just yet!" He cried back to her, as Lisbon sprinted from the bull pen to try and stop Bosco. Cho just looked on in amusement, and he was even more amused when Rigsby and Grace, who carried a box, stepped back into the bull pen.

"Are Jane and the boss gone?" Rigsby questioned, Cho nodded.

"Yeah, but I'm sure you knew that." Cho responded. "Who tipped Bosco off to the fact his car is on the roof?" Rigsby and Grace shared a look. "Fine. Don't tell me."

"It's not that we don't want to tell you…"

"But, we're on a time crunch at the moment." Grace shook the box in her hands, and Cho shook his head.

"Whatever you two are doing, leave me out of it." Both nodded, as Grace scurried to Lisbon's office to place the box down on the Senior Agent's desk.

"You don't have a post-it note do you?" Grace questioned him; he shook his head before looking down at Lisbon's orderly desk. "Do you have a marker on you?" Rigsby nodded, pulling out a black permanent marker from his pocket and handing it over to Grace. She stared at him, with one eyebrow raised.

"I carry it on me; you don't know when you're going to need one." Rigsby replied. "It can't be that big of a shock, I mean you women carry the weirdest things in your pockets…"

"Rigsby, what are you talking about?"

"Jane said that…"

"Really! You'd listen to the very _man _who wanted to marry me last night?" Grace questioned, leaning back over Lisbon's desk to write her name on the white box. "Of all things…" Grace stood back up and looked at him. "Come on, we don't want to be caught in here." Rigsby nodded following her out, as both settled back at their desks; Rigsby couldn't resist asking.

"What's in the box?"

"A gift from Jane." Grace winked. "He's going to need it to get back in her good graces after putting Bosco's car on the roof." Rigsby shook his head.

"I'm still curious about that one." Rigsby stated. "How does anyone lift a convertible onto any building in the middle of the day?" Grace shrugged.

"It's..." Grace offered. "He's…well, he's Jane."

"Good point." Rigsby admitted.

* * *

After fifteen games of solitaire, in which Rigsby won eight times and the computer cheated the rest of the damn time, Lisbon and Jane rejoined them.

"Any calls?" Lisbon questioned, as Jane sunk down on his couch. "Jane, don't you fall asleep!"

"No Boss." Rigsby responded, looking over at Jane. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's got a concussion after being whacked around with a _piñata stick_…" Lisbon shook her head. "I can't believe he'd just grab that thing out of my hand and hit Jane repeatedly."

"If he thinks I'm paying for his car now, ha, he's even crazier than Rigsby is on an empty stomach." Rigsby glared at him.

"You put his _car _on the roof!" Lisbon chided. "How the hell did you get that thing up there?"

"Uh… it's magic!"

"I'm sure." Lisbon replied, glaring at him. "If it's magic, then I'm a…"

"Witch." Jane brightly spoke, as Lisbon's eyes narrowed. "I mean that in the nicest way possible."

"Jane, I still have that stick." Jane's eyes almost popped from his head.

"Where?" Jane questioned. "I don't see it, is it hiding somewhere within?" Cho, Grace and Rigsby stared at the both of them in utter shock.

"Yes Jane." She dryly replied. "Now, I'm going into my office—if he decides to fall asleep, throw something at him." Lisbon turned on her heel and went into her office. It was then and only then that Jane decided to say something to the three of them.

"Which one of you decided to tell Bosco that I put his car on the roof?" Jane questioned, Rigsby paled. "Cho? Rigsby? Grace?"

"JANE!" Lisbon screamed from her office, Jane groaned.

"I didn't do anything…!" Jane cried back, begrudgingly leaving the couch to visit Lisbon; Jane disappeared into her office before Rigsby peered at Grace.

"I doubt this is going to work." He scowled. "I… what's in the box anyway?" Grace waved him over and brought up the security screen. Both of them could clearly see (and hear) Jane and Lisbon from the security feed.

"I put a camera and a microphone in a small stuffed bear." Grace replied, as Rigsby stared. "It was either that or the plan I suggested earlier."

"And I still value my life very much so." Rigsby told her, Grace shushed him and leaned closer to the screen to hear their conversation.

_"—out tonight." _Jane told Lisbon, resting on edge of her desk. _"I mean think of all the things we can do…"_

_ "Jane, I've had just about enough adventure from all of you this week." _She hissed. _"The only person in this unit who hasn't gone crazy is Cho." _

_ "Ah, but you expect this behavior from me." _

_ "Yes, I do." _She responded. _"I wish you wouldn't do it, but I can't stop you." _

_ "No, you're right." _Jane replied, grinning. _"Only magic hands and lips can stop me_." Lisbon grimaced in his general direction. _"You enjoyed it." _

_ "I didn't have a choice; you grabbed me and dragged me there." _Lisbon snarled.

_ "Kicking and screaming baby, kicking and screaming." _Jane told her. _"I figured you'd love being held down, and forced to experience so much…_"

"What are you two doing?" Grace turned around slowly to face Bosco, who had his arms crossed against his chest. Hadn't Lisbon said something about pressing charges on him for taking a piñata stick to Jane?

"uh… live feed?" Bosco peered in closer to see Jane and Lisbon.

"Live feed _from _Lisbon's office?" Grace groaned, but instead of Bosco saying anything—he moved one of the chairs from one of the empty tables to watch the feed with them. Rigsby stared at Bosco, before looking at Grace who just shook her head slightly. Was everyone involved with the Serious Crimes Unit insane? It definitely seemed so.


	6. Glass Windows with a hint of CPR

**Curiosity Killed the Cat**

**Summary: **It hadn't been the lack of banter between the two, or something majorly different between the two of them but it was just enough to make him wonder—what exactly was the relationship between the two? J/L

**Disclaimer: **If I owned _The Mentalist_, it would be a horrible experience for everyone…

**Warnings: **Language, OOC-ness and Unedited.

**A/N: **

*hides*

There's a good reason why the story ends the way it does, I *still* intend for this story to have seven chapters and the next chapter will contain the surprise… ha, but the next chapter may contain the answer we've all been looking for.

Thanks for all the reviews, reads and alerts—they always makes my day go from okay to awesomely-awesome!

Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**Chapter Six:**

**Glass Windows with a hint of CPR**

"Is this actually legal?" Rigsby questioned, both of them had left the office late last night and had come back early the next morning to watch the feed of the office.

"Bosco didn't say anything."

"Bosco doesn't have a problem spying on the boss, because he's in love with her." Rigsby retorted. "I have a problem spying on them both, because I'm _not _in love with them—I mean sure, I care about them both very much but uh…" Grace stared at him, her arms crossed against her chest. "Yeah, that's not the point—I'm just saying we should try a different tactic."

"Let's see, you've managed to steal my car, land in jail, disguise yourself as a law officer and somehow manage to think that extortion plus kidnapping would be a wonderful way to _win _a bet." She replied, staring him down.

"Oh yeah!" Rigsby exchanged. "Your plans didn't work any better—you managed to throw Jane a party, almost get married…"

"That wasn't my fault!" She hissed. "You're the one who decided to tell Jane that he could have me."

"…anger Bosco, break into the Bosses' office and wiretap her phone!"

"And… wait, I didn't wiretap any phones!"

"Oh." Rigsby responded. "That must have been me." She glared in response.

"You've almost caused _everything _to happen and…" Jane's sudden arrival interrupted the rest of her words, as she quickly turned toward her computer screen to find that one of them had already closed the live feed, and that Jane couldn't find out their secret that way.

"Lover spat?" He questioned the both of them turned to glare at him. "Ah, spring is almost here and fights are in the air…"

"Is that why you and the boss fight so much?" Grace questioned, innocently and Jane did something neither Rigsby or Grace expected—he snorted.

"Because it's almost spring?" He asked. "Nah, Lisbon and I fight because we're _made _for each other." Rigsby and Grace shared looks between the both of them. "It almost seems like we're closer now because we've been _watched_ by almost _everyone_."

"Really now?" Rigsby asked as Jane nodded. "I would get that handled then." Jane brightly grinned before leaning down to whisper into Rigsby's ear.

"I know what you're up too. I figured it out." Rigsby almost drew in a huge breath, but realized that even if Jane knew (which he probably didn't) Jane would have said something to Lisbon already and gotten both Grace and himself in trouble for their investigation.

"Really?" Rigsby repeated, crossing his arms against his chest and staring up at Jane. "What am I doing?"

"Sitting there." Cho responded, also entering the bull pen.

"Yes that, and the fact that you have a question on your mind."

"Yeah, are you insane?" Rigsby replied, Jane only laughed in response before skipping his way over to Lisbon's office—in which, he shut the door behind him and everything became loud and then complete silence. "You don't think she killed him do you?"

"Don't be ridiculous." Grace waved the idea off, before shifting her eyes toward Cho. "You don't think…"

"Jane hasn't done anything." Cho interceded. "Besides breathe."

"Maybe breathing is now illegal for all consultants." Rigsby suggested. "Or maybe she just needs a reason to be able to use CPR on him…"

"Who needs a reason to use CPR?" Cho questioned, still sitting at his desk.

"Not only that," Grace continued. "Why would the boss want to do something like that here at work with glass windows?" The sound of a low pitched moan drifted into the bull pen. Everyone, meaning Cho, Grace and Rigsby turned to stare in the direction of Lisbon's office.

"You're kidding me." Rigsby muttered. "Do they have to do that with us here?" Cho's eyes were still on the office.

"Someone go tell them to knock it off." Cho responded, Grace casted a glance toward him.

"I'm not going anywhere near that office!" Grace replied.

"Rock, paper, scissors." This prompted the most bizarre game of rock, paper, scissors in the history of rock, paper, scissors game ever between the three SCU members. Eventually, after Rigsby had lost all three games—he was the one who had to tell both of them to knock it off.

* * *

"Uh…boss, Jane?" Rigsby awkwardly rocked on the ball of his heels, trying to gain the attention of both Jane and Lisbon from her office. "Uh…" Rigsby turned around to stare at Grace and Cho, who only gave him looks of indifference (Cho) and a dire urgency to end whatever was going on (Grace). "Hello in there!" No response again. "I know you're both in there, half of the CBI knows what you're doing…" No response. "If you two don't stop that…" No response again. "Alright, both of you need to stop going at it." Rigsby almost turned around if it weren't for the next words from the room which sounded like "faster". "What the Hell!" Without regards to anyone, Rigsby brought his hand down to pull the door open as he kept his eyes closed. "Next time, both of you could keep your moans down to a reasonable volume." Rigsby heard laughter. "It's not funny; I don't want to know what you guys are doing in here…"

"What does it look like we're doing in here?" Jane questioned. "Oh that's right, you _can't _see it because you have your eyes closed."

"I'm not opening my eyes until both of you are fully clothed."

"Clothed?" Lisbon asked. "Both of us have been fully clothed the whole time we've been in here… Rigsby, are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"Boss, I know what the whole unit heard and I just want to tell you both that in the future to move somewhere else where we can't hear it."

"Rigsby, just what the _hell _do you think we've been doing?"

"Uh…"Rigsby hesitated. "I'll be leaving now…" Rigsby rushed from the room without seeing that both Teresa Lisbon and Patrick Jane were fully clothed, and holding a deck of cards between them.

"Go fish!" Jane brightly responded, continuing where the both of them had left off as Lisbon stood from her chair to rush out to the bull pen with Jane hot on her heels, pouting about the game; it was quickly forgotten however after seeing the looks of Rigsby, Grace and Cho.

"What the hell has been going on around here for the past few days?" Lisbon irritably asked with her arms crossed against her chest. "First it's the vending machine, then being arrested, then the party and now, _this_?" Lisbon made a motion with her hands to signify Jane and herself. "Does anyone want to tell me what the hell has been going on?" No one responded, besides the fact that Jane hummed to himself. "Van Pelt!" Grace stood to face her boss, at which she looked at the ground before saying anything.

"We were uh…wondering if you and Jane were in a…uh…" Grace couldn't fit the words from her mouth; Lisbon still glared at her. "Relationship." Lisbon dropped the glare to a simple stare before going back to glare at all three of them.

"Damn!" Lisbon muttered angrily, as Jane grinned in her direction—while everyone else just stared on in confusion.

"You owe me five dollars." Jane then turned to stare at the rest of the unit, wearing one of the largest grins. "I would share if I could, as you and Grace actually earned me this money."

"Wait…what?" Rigsby questioned, as Jane laughed.

"Do both of you think that we're that dense?" Jane asked as Grace, Cho and Rigsby stared at him. "I knew that if we kept leaving every day for two weeks at the same time, one of you would get curious—Lisbon doubted it, and naturally I won." He flashed another smile in Lisbon's direction.

"Hold on," Grace spoke. "So you're telling me that both of you orchestrated something to bet on?"

"Actually," Lisbon cut in. "Jane orchestrated, I just found out five minutes ago—but one little piece of advice Van Pelt, Rigsby." Lisbon stepped closer. "Both of you would make horrible Private Detectives." Grace blushed, as Rigsby just stared down at his feet.

"Don't be so hard on them Lisbon," Jane teased, as she glared at him.

"Hold on!" Rigsby repeated Grace's statement. "That doesn't answer everything!"

"Yeah it does." Jane replied.

"No it doesn't." Rigsby responded. "First, I want to know how you put Bosco's car on the roof." Jane seemed bashful at that.

"I uh… actually didn't do that." Jane replied.

"Who did then?" Lisbon smirked slightly, and Jane pointed at Lisbon who merely shrugged. "You're kidding?"

"Nope." Lisbon didn't go into further detail. "I've placed many cars on roofs."

"Yeah." Jane muttered. "Mine." Lisbon rolled her eyes.

"—and you get it back safe each time, don't you?"

"After you've…"

"Where have you been going?" Grace questioned, Jane laughed.

"Lunch." Jane offered, as Grace narrowed her eyes. "And one day, I managed to kidnap Lisbon and take her to massage session; I mean while I'm plotting here I need to at least make what we're doing real."

"Let me say this much, if you ever…"

"Okay," Rigsby interceded before another fight could begin again. "What about the day Van Pelt and I followed you—how did you manage to get Lisbon in your lap?" Jane paled, as Lisbon turned her eyes on him.

"I _knew _it!" Lisbon hissed. "I knew you did that!"

"Thank you Rigsby." Jane replied, before he turned to Lisbon. "I think you're just mortified that you did something like that in front of a co-worker."

"I'm going to dig that piñata stick out of the trash, and shove it…" Lisbon paused on her threat as Jane chuckled.

"Now, now—there's still one more question to answer for them both." Jane replied to her threat. "The answer is…" and as soon as Jane managed to almost squeeze the words from his mouth, the fire alarm went off.


	7. Higher than Pigeons

**Curiosity Killed the Cat**

**Summary:** It hadn't been the lack of banter between the two, or something majorly different between the two of them but it was just enough to make him wonder—what exactly was the relationship between the two? J/L

**Disclaimer: **Nope, not mine. *five minutes later* Nope, still not mine.

**Warnings: **Language, OOC-ness and Unedited.

**A/N: **

I absolutely had a blast writing this story! I always have so much fun writing humor, and it also helps that I'm two parts angst and five-billion parts humor and yes, if you do the math that means I'm made up of five billion and two parts hehehe. Anyway, now that this story is complete—I'll probably take a small hiatus before I write any new stories… I really do need to finish my other stories ;)

Thanks to: Frogster, Fell4, Simonisthecuttestmentalist, Koezh, Sarcasm-the-Lowest Form of Wit, lisbon69, TeresaAmeliaJane.,BFanz, xxxBekaForEvaxxx, Fallen Angels of Love, Biana Delacroix, phoenixmagic1, Jubilee7, raquelvalente91, mwalter1, Bezelburr, PhoenixWytch for all the lovely reviews, and as always the readers and alerters of the story! :hugs!:

Enjoy the last chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 7: **

**Higher than Pigeons**

After the disastrous fire alarm, which had been brought on by someone in one of the downstairs kitchenettes who had decided to put metal into the microwave; the team found themselves back in the bull pen for the final answer as Jane refused to give any answer while standing outside thinking that the couch was going to burn in the fire just as Bosco stood of to the side laughing at the consultant's hysteria.

"Who won the bet?" Rigsby asked, as Jane settled down on his couch while Lisbon remained standing.

"I did." Jane responded. "We've been over this."

"I meant ours."

"Oh, so you betted on two state employees?"

"You betted on us, and the last time I checked—my paycheck said I was a state employee." Grace replied.

"Meh, Lisbon and I have more job security." Lisbon turned to stare at him.

"Jane, you're a _consultant_." Lisbon responded. "Do I need to remind you of where you fall in line with this department?" He didn't reply, which left Lisbon to continue. "Consultants are just slightly above the pigeons."

"Wait, we use pigeons?" Rigsby questioned, Lisbon nodded.

"Apparently they have better job security." Jane muttered darkly, everyone stared at him.

"—well, if you stopped pulling your stunts." Lisbon responded. "You might actually have a better chance of a good evaluation." Jane snickered.

"I thought that I was doing pretty well." Jane replied. "I met requirements on almost everything, and I had especially high marks in annoying the boss." Lisbon crossed her arms against her chest.

"There's no "annoying the boss" section on evaluations." Lisbon told him. "Otherwise everyone in this unit besides Jane would fail."

"Ah, but you see—I take the "CEP""

"Do I even want to know what that means?" She questioned, Jane shook his head.

"You see what they want you to see, more of a conspiracy theory if anything else." He replied with a grin, before looking back over at Grace and Rigsby. "Both of you should be ashamed." Rigsby glanced over at Grace, who in turn glanced over at Rigsby before both pairs of eyes rested back on Jane.

"What are you now? Our mother?" Rigsby questioned. "You bet on us!"

"He bets on everyone." Cho stated. "Shouldn't be that much of a surprise." Jane hummed.

"I'd really like to find out who won this bet today," Grace told them. "Not in five years—when the both of you could be getting married, the only reason we find out is because you've decided to run to Las Vegas and we think you've gone missing." Lisbon turned to stare at Grace.

"Uh…"

"_Uh_… please don't tell me you both are already married…"

"Never!" Jane responded. "If I was going to marry Lisbon, I'd want you all there—and the reason for that would be the shock value."

"It's not like the both of you don't have enough sexual tension already." Cho stated.

"It's safe to say that neither of us is going to run to Las Vegas anytime soon."

"Oh I don't know about you Lisbon," Jane spoke. "But I think a trip to Las Vegas tomorrow morning would be lovely, we could visit all the chapels and…" She narrowed her eyes.

"No."

"Oh come on."

"No."

"I'm pretty sure we can even make enough money to start a family and…"

"What don't you understand about the word, "no"?" Lisbon asked.

"Well for starters," Jane replied. "The fact that "yes" has three letters, and "no" only has two—it seems like you give the words a certain gender…"

"It's only "no" and no means…"

"No?" Grace interrupted, Lisbon nodded.

"Yes." Jane spoke, grinning. "I perfectly understand now." Lisbon could only throw her hands up in aspiration before turning on her heels to head back to her office, Jane grinned calling after her. "Does that mean yes?" Jane dodged the flying stapler, as it hit the wall behind him and broke. "Alright Lisbon, 6 A.M. it is." Grace shook her head at the consultant who just wouldn't stop.

"Who won the bet then?" Rigsby shot back at him and he shrugged.

"Neither of you did." He responded, standing up. "Lisbon and I aren't in a relationship, beyond one of the "I annoy her; she threatens me" verity." He started toward Lisbon's office.

"You think he's lying?" Rigsby asked.

"Most definitely." Grace admitted. "After all, no means yes to him."

* * *

Patrick Jane shut the door behind him, as Teresa Lisbon rolled her eyes—staring down at the paperwork on her desk.

"Las Vegas?" She questioned.

"Meh, I've never been." Jane responded. "Besides that, Grace is the one who brought that one up."

"Us getting married," Lisbon muttered, as Jane chuckled.

"Silly isn't it?" Jane asked; both grew silent in reflection before Jane grew another smile on his face. "Let's do it."

"What?"

"Leave tomorrow and come back married."

"No."

"Yes?"

"No?"

"No?"

"Yes." He grinned in response, and she sighed. "We're not getting married."

"Oh come on, it would be a perfect ending to this whole betting business."

"You've forgotten something however," she stood from behind her desk and stepped toward him. "We're not..." He grinned.

"That can be fixed easily," He murmured, as she grinned in response. "I still want my five dollars though."

"Don't worry," Lisbon responded. "You'll get your five dollars and even more if you behave."

"Me? I'm an angel."Jane pulled the innocent card before laughing. "I knew that the interest would eventually pay off."

"You and me both."

Neither Jane nor Lisbon heard the loud "I knew it!" coming from the bull pen, as both were rather busy with other things than the mundane act of paperwork and lawsuits.


End file.
